Lily Allen – “It’s not us, it’s you”

It seems Ms. Allen is aghast with the Featured Artists Coalition, who had the nerve to speak up against the GovernmentHis Cuntness Mandelson’s plan to kick illegal file sharers off the nets, judging by her latest blog entry.

Lily has two main lines of argument: FAC is made up of “some really rich and successful artists” who “sell out arena tours and have the biggest Ferrari collections in the world”, so they can afford file sharing, and that if this state of affairs goes on, “British music will be nothing but puppets paid for by Simon Cowell”. She hammers on these quite a bit.

Well, first of all, there are a lot of people in FAC I’ve never even heard of, complete unknowns. Perhaps she only looked at the photo on the Times article and didn’t actually bother to check out their website. Being a cynical bastard, I’m inclined to think she’s just trying to manipulate people, by hiding that fact. Readers of The Cockbucket might be familiar with this technique, it’s cherry picking, pure and simple.

Second, let me bring you up to speed, Lily: British music is already nothing but puppets paid for by Simon Cowell. Have you looked at a chart in the past, oh, 30 years? Most of the independent artists have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting into the limelight, and if it wasn’t for file sharing they would probably reach a total of 3 people outside their families, not that you’d care about that, because obviously you’re the British music’s Florence Fucking Nightingale.

In the last part of that article our Lily opens her heart to us, and tells of her distress to pay the huge debt she had to her record company. I almost wept. Well, dear, perhaps you should’ve read Steve Albini or Courtney Love before signing up with the cunts, right? Or did anyone point a gun to your head and force you to sign? Or could it be that the parties with the A-Listers were more important to you than “the British music”? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, if I could I’d do nothing but snort coke off of £400 hookers’ tits, but if you chose to get in bed with the fat cats, then DON’T WHINE ABOUT IT, YOU FUCKING SPOILED BRAT.

After all her laments, she fails to mention whether she thinks it’s ok to cut someone off the Internet because they do illegal file sharing, which is the main point of the FAC/BASCA/MPG press release that she was initially very upset about. I guess you don’t actually have the cojones, do you, Lily? When you grow a pair and answer that in no uncertain terms, I’d also like to hear your view on copyright extension, I must’ve missed it at the time.

See also The Death of Oink, the Birth of Dissent, and a Brief History of Record Industry Suicide.

This was a guest Cockbucket brought to you by someone with more passion about music than I could ever summon, Spotify premium account notwithstanding.

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